The Option Is Yours
“Your existence is the sum of the all of the products that you use, consciously and subconsciously. If you're able to control the entire process of selecting, you are able to seize control of every aspect of your existence. You'll find the liberty which comes from being responsible for yourself.” Robert F. Bennett
Maybe you have was inside a supermarket and felt at a loss for the options? Several dozen kinds of bandages. Six brands of tomato soup. A whole aisle of frozen dinners. Frozen treats flavors from amaretto to zucchini (I am not kidding).
We're swimming in options so we make hundreds, otherwise a large number of choices every single day: What time for you to wake up. What so when to consume. How difficult to work. Whether or not to exercise, shop, purchase a pet, read, meditate, proceed to another city or take some time to live in. Which e-mails to see, write and forward. Who to spend more time with.
Regardless of this reality, a lot of my clients become should they have little if any choice in many facets of their lives. Their conversations are peppered using the words, “need to.”
Without thinking, they are saying, “I must work 16 hrs each day and weekends.” “I must make dinner for your loved ones each and every night.” “I must be considered a taxi run in my kids.” “I must work three jobs.”
No, it's not necessary to, you're selecting to.
Should you concede that a person always has an option, what difference does while using words “need to” make?
Do this little experiment. Say aloud, “I must brush my teeth two times each day.” Take the time and see how that feels for you. Now say “I select to clean my teeth two times each day.” Try saying, “I must get my boy from baseball practice,” and follow that by saying “I am selecting to get my boy from baseball practice.” Finally, pick a good example in your existence, express it aloud for both, then think about the distinction between your feelings when you have stated each one of the pair.
Much like me, you might be awestruck in the intense energy that brief phrase, “need to,” imposes. These simple words, when repeated countless occasions each day, every week, every year, strip us in our capability to acknowledge our very own needs and let us blame others for the failures.
This isn't a little factor. A existence covered with the understanding we're consciously selecting in every moment, enables us to experiment, to test, to visit outdoors of ourselves to uncover what, for example, zucchini frozen treats might taste like. It provides us power and drive, determination and exuberance. We live a existence in our selecting.
“Have-to's” enclose us. They behave as a noose. They stop us from seeking creative solutions. True, they stop us safe. They also stop us stuck.