Beware of Radical Mint Enthusiasts

By / October 25, 2019

Beware of Radical Mint Enthusiasts

Several things are as boring because the dust that clings for your Television screen.

Take tooth paste, for instance. If you be considered a radical mint enthusiast, brushing the teeth may be the highlight of the day. You may have the shiniest teeth around. You will possibly not wish to interrupt your brushing for supper… unless of course recption menus includes mint jelly pâté.

I recall certainly one of my personal favorite math comic strips, when Adam was trying so difficult to diet. Obviously, my memory is fading quicker than my jeans, but here’s roughly the way it went:

FRAME ONE: Adam is sneaking back to bed, when his wife asks if he’d been snacking.

FRAME TWO: She gives him a separate hug… or at best as passionate like a two-dimensional, black and white-colored childrens favourite can provide.

FRAME THREE: No. All “fresh and minty”, she concludes.

FRAME FOUR: Adam thinks to themself: “Ought to be. I ate three tubes of tooth paste.”

For individuals people using tooth paste for brushing, it’s at the best bearable. There’s clearly collusion in the greatest quantity of a mint flavor industry to squash our democratic to a complete selection of tooth paste flavors.

What when the Big Mint stranglehold might be damaged? Let’s say brushing our teeth turn into a custom-designed exhilaration? Let’s say tooth paste arrived as numerous flavors as, say, jelly beans?

We lately attempted newer and more effective jelly bean flavors on the anniversary. (Oh, seriously. What is more romantic than the usual romp with the jelly bean dispensers?)

The strawberry daiquiri jelly beans sampled scrumptious. So did the strawberry cheesecake ones. The buttered popcorn ones were so-so, however the caramel popcorn jelly beans were oh-so tasty.

We attempted the chocolate fudge flavor and also the chocolate pudding flavor, but we ignored the chocolate covered grasshopper flavor.

They’d three types of melon, four flavors of apple and three different toffee flavored jelly beans. But tooth paste is available in just mint. Will I hear you say, “Conspiracy theory”?

Even Little Lady’s finger paints are available in eight tantalizing fruit flavors. Huh? Why would something parents try so difficult to discourage kids from investing in their mouths smell of particularly and bananas and cherries, once the tooth paste we attempt so difficult to cause them to become place in their mouths is available in just mint.

To be fair, Little Lady’s edible tooth paste (Most tooth paste is inedible – suppose!) is available in two flavors: berry and bubble gum… but that is not a choice. Surely Big Mint will quickly shut lower this renegade operation muscling in on their own territory.

I wish to begin to see the same creativeness get into tooth paste flavors as entered “Hot Fudge Sundae” Pop Tarts. Or even the Plymouth Prowler retro dragster. Or individuals chocolate covered grasshopper jelly beans.

When I write this column from driving of my vehicle – inside a parking area, obviously – I see a lot of people go by. Tall people. Short people. Thin people. Neat people. Sloppy people. Human people. Canine people. People transporting. People riding. People smiling. People frowning. If there are plenty of kinds of people, and my supermarket stocks 72 kinds of cereal and 37 kinds of crackers, does not it appear somewhat spooky that no tooth paste manufacturers are prepared to endure Big Mint?

Variety may be the spice of existence. Don’t allow Big Mint oppress you. Don’t allow the mint-enthusiast bullies stifle your democratic to free taste.

There’s no conclusive evidence that a number of pumpkin-cake-flavored jelly beans will derail your diet plan greater than three tubes of “fresh and minty” tooth paste. So enjoy your multicultural jelly beans… even if you’re dieting.